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Idk like video gmae talk or somethign

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Aight so. Mario. not really a video game dudei mtoo farmiliar with i mean hes just like some dude or something idk mans like a plumber or soem shit like if i wanted one of those id just like go outside or whatever the old people say but like hes got a lot of video games right some like nintendo peple or something made him and they were like yea lets make this dude like walk around cuz video games didnt exist in the only place that youtube """"""""""""""""""""""""Essayists"""""""""""""""""""(retards) care about(united dicked heads of whogivesashit) nd then nitnendo wasl ike here u go ig lol and they were like WOW I CANT BELIEVE IT ITS LIKE WE ARENT NEANDERTHALS ANYMORE(still are) WITH REAL ENTIERTAINEMT(no normal ppl transportaiton tho lol) and then they were all just like playing video games at like 9000000000000000apm per hour and hten yea i guess video games existed there then oh right mario he like existed sincel ike donky konk (until [COMPARISON REMOVED FOR RACIST REMARKS]) but then some shigeru fuck was like what if the background scrolled but not like that since he siad it in japanese and proabbly not taht since its like nitendo classified informarion if i had thta they would bring out their feds and literally murder me in real life(oh wow whats that van outside) but yea that basiccally invented Super mario brother the first ever fideo game according to john america which is like the only fucking person on this planet and noone lese exists

super mario gameplay

so yea these fucers arent even right we literally had video games before and after that but bcuz some Fucko piss rando 0 brain was like Wow i love stroking nitnedos dick im gonna rewrite history thats how its been for the last 40 years but historycal innacuracy aside According to Those Fuckers nitnedo woned video games for like 99999999999999999999999999 Doh lars(made up paper religion) for like the next idk 80 gorllion years and there were like No arcades or fuckin Computers there i guess just some shitty ass fuckin brown box lookin mother fucker that playes Gyromite yea sure fucking awesome dude thats what i want to spend half my paycheck on rela cool dude but then shit wasl ike that for the next uhh 5 years i thin k it was the 90s so ppl figured out the strats really quickly but According to yet again John aemrica some piss rando noboyd(Not true) called Sega was like wow what if we made a console and then they did and then they Instantly created another FUcko boingo dude that goes right called Sonic thehedgehog an he was gonna be c00l and hip and not like the baby mario Which is his direct competiting and they are definitely going against one anotheri n a battle of death for the next 70 millenia(again just paraphrasing what john said here theres arent my thougths(get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head get out of my head )) and all that be cause instead of some Random Fucking Intalian Dude its a furry wow how rebellions and edgy dude a fuckin dog thing great thanks sega of AMERICA(ugly ass made up country(not real)) but yea as u saw by the text inbetween none of this shit actaully happened and it was not real well some things were but not all basically Nintedno didnt create video games tehy just kidna shoved the grey box to the Hellspawn and called it a day and made like money or something but video games existed in arcades and computers and they were real i played them i went back in time and played on a real life uh Computer (like hte old beige ones that ones yea)

me palying the latest russian indie game of the year TETPNC(IT FUCKING SUCKS 0/5)

but basically wht i am trying to say here is that NOONE CARES ABOUT RHEE FUCKING SEGA "GENESIS"(dumb fuck fatso cultist reference(mega drive for the normals))Like yeah would it be awesome if we renamed toe Super famicom ot like fuckin super CHRISTBLASTER system yea fuckin epic there dude but like heres the real fuckin deal i have WHY THE FUCK DID THEY MAKE SONIC LOOK LIKE THAT-> LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD NOW WHY THE FUCK DID GREG MARTIN NEED TO EXIST AT THAT POINT IN TIME AND WHY THE FUCK IS THE ENTIRETY OF SEGA JUST FILLED WITHT HE MOST ASININE MOTHERFUCKERS ON THE PLANET I DO NOT UNDERSTAND MAN WHAT THE FUCK FUCK YOU But any whays acording to REAL people (sonic team) and not made up generated fatlord robots sonic wasnt made to be a fuckin COmpetitior to some fuck ass italian plumber cant even get a bitch noone cares abt u mate sonic was made just cuz they needed some dude to have pinball physics in thier 2d platformer(And since as john said Mario invented video games tehrefore all 2d platformers are fuckin mario CLONE!!!!!!!!!) nd they got some blue hedgehogged fuck and then the game sold like 3 copies outside of the Suburbscape bcuz Again sega doesnt know how the fuck to exist the fact that they are still there making "video" "games"(could be argued pso2ngs is infact an ai generated Blob and not infact what would typically be quantified as a "Video Game" which seems to be a trend among their non yakuza releases) is kind of a fluke most o the time oh yeah sonic yeah so basically they tried to like shove in a pinball within a 2d platformer enviroemnt and even tho it sold like Shit everywhere(as most classics of their time do) the games were like relaly good with intersting ways of uisng the physics and level design to create big Wow spead and then speedrunning was invented eveyrwhere also had somethign to do with this one obscure video game called for the pc dunno if u heard of it its pretty niche in my opinion but what im trying to say is THIS SHIT IS NOTHING LIKE MARIO in the mario u hold right and Occasionally click(or press if ur a fuckin loser dumb fuckin printer hands ass lookin mtoher fucker) the jump button and hten u like get to the thing wow arent i so cool and quirky for boiling 2d sidescrollers down to their core No the fuck im not but mari o establsihed those formulas so that others could follower or if ur john fuckin stupid retard u COPY them but like u just like make a character go on a 2d plane horizontally and thats the video game so like u can do al ot of things with that like how The greatest trilogy of this generation Bubsy managed to ascent the genre to whole another level but thats a discussion for a nother time maybe now is the time for me to talk about how much sonic 3 and knuckles fucking roflstomps as a video game

Bubsy Cat 3d Dies Gif Funny Death Explosion Shatter Polygon Animation Game Over

sike no the fuck im not lmao thats like fuckin effort to write about how the level design in s3&k is probably some of the best in a 2d video game bczu like it fits sonics moveset so perfectly and it looks so fuckin good forl ike the mega drive and then like the &knuckles got mother fucking damn thats one videod game if i ever played one but yea basically ofr some fuckin reason both mario And sonic only ever made like 4 video games in the like Main series where it haves like a number and then they like went into like The Third Dimension or some shit FUck een like the time they went 3d is like completely fucking different along iwth the ways they did it mario got like Super Mario 64 which instead of u go Right u go fuckin Everywhere and noone liked that because collectathons are a fucking garbage ass format bczu who the fuck wants to like Run arround collect shit thats like dog entertainemed its like what a dog would do u tell it to go get a thing and then it does it and its like wow but instead of a delicious treat its some fuckin pixels on a screen so absially noone fuckin liked those and they stopped making them as soon as the nintendo 64 incinerated world wide and nintendo instead of like making mario idk Good they just like fired him and then he would go to doing what the average italian man would do that being smoking Meth and reading the same fucking book 50 times a day and also [MARIO REMOVED FOR RACIST REMARKS] but like then it was like sonci to go 3d and then ppl were like Wowie sonic sure had a Rough Transiition because they go by they/them now and im very proud of them for being true to themselves like they always say but also sonic team made like a video game for the dreamcast called sonic adventure which was like the first true 3d sonic game because 3d blast was also a thing and so was like blast but without the 3d but those dont exist anymore ever since the global carcrash of 2004 where everyone got into a car crash but like yea sonic adventure was like completely different ot that fuckin mario thing bczu u just like go to the end andi ts like fun and good and u can go out of bounds which makes the gmae WAY better than most video games that dont let u do that because thats actaully a good FEATURE adn not a glitch like the dumb fuck journo soy ppl will tell u along wiht how bad that game is which it isnt because i just playedi t and itwas good and completely fine and flawless even so idk what they re talking about lol but then tehy made like a sequel to it and that was actually the last sonic game because SPOILER ALERT shadow dies at the end whne u beat finalhazard and then they never made another sonic game ever again due because shadow died and then noone wanted another sonic game ever again including sega truly sadx i know but atleast the sonic games we got were like good i think or osmehitng idk what was i even talking about again i forgot lol

spoiler alert its that one cutscene where shadow dies that i atlked about
a display of good game design





























































































Ahhhhhh What the fuck is this dumb fuckin italian still doing here go talk about jesus and fascism elsewhere u greasy fuck